Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
