Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
