dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
