How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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