I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
