I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
