I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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