Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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