And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
