I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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