Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
