I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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