wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
