I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I need to align my fucking chakras
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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