Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize