One girl and one boy is just not enough.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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