like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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