**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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