so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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