well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
