I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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