bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
bring money and cleavage
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
