butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
