It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
