I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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