i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize