You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
