Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
