'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
