I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
