ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just threw up on my dentist
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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