Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize