porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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