Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
