her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
