You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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