so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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