yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
