Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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