you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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