dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
