is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
