I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was confusing and full of hummus
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
