It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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