My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
