Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
