there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
