you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
