Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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