Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
