I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
