I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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