TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
