College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize