you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
did i just pee glitter
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
