dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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