i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
