Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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