But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
