when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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