he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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