I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
