Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
